January 21, 2015
When you’re obese you don’t like to be naked.
I’ve looked at this word “naked” on my screen for quite a while now.
As I pondered the start of this blog / journal / journey, I made a decision to do it anonymously. I told myself that by presenting it without a face, it can reach more people, it’s more universal, it’s stripped away of my personal excuses and people can fill in their own blanks.
And each of these reasons are valid and with merit.
But, the naked truth is, I don’t want to tell people that I am one pound away from weighing 300 pounds. It’s the white elephant in the room really. It’s not like I can hide 300 pounds. Who am I fooling? Maybe myself?
How did I get here?
I have my choice of excuses: childhood, parents, insecurity, low self esteem, child birth, chronic illness, aging, slow metabolism and many more. I’m actually quite good at making excuses, even to myself.
But, the naked truth is, I put the food in my mouth. I put the weight on my body. No one forced me. I did it. I made those choices and I can’t deny them any longer or rationalize them away.
I am the reason I am one pound away from weighing 300 pounds.
And only I can change my reality going forward.
Here’s to the journey….
OnePoundAway 
Naked. Yup, that word stopped me. I don’t like being naked either — physically or emotionally. It’s a little too close, a little too vulnerable, a little too…and there are the excuses. But really, it’s fear. Am I good enough? Thin enough? Pretty enough?
Am I enough?
Honestly, no. But then Truth whispers, “Sweet Child, you were never meant to be enough. Only I am enough. And only in Me, only held so close you can hear the beat of My heart are you all you were meant to be, all I created you to be.”
Thank you for speaking truth, beyond obesity, beyond excuses, and straight to my heart.
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