The Word Is “Passive”

February 10, 2015
The Word is “Passive”
These past couple of weeks, as I have been determined to become healthier in every arena of my life, (physically, emotionally and spiritually) I kept describing myself as just going with the flow, following where life leads and at times buffeted by the winds and waves of life. I wasn’t exactly searching for a word or a term, but this morning it found me. During my time of study one word jumped right out at me, it waved, whistled and said this is you, you are passive.

Passive doesn’t normally strike me as a negative description. It is the opposite of aggressive, it’s easy to get along with, it doesn’t ruffle feathers, it isn’t demanding, it puts others needs before it’s own and it’s easily content in life.

Passive. I looked at the thesaurus and it’s also lifeless and inactive. Lifeless and inactive. Hmmmm.

In my experience, passive has become putting others needs before your own because you don’t feel worthy. Letting someone else make the decision because you feel inadequate. Doing what other people want because you want them to like you and otherwise, why would they? Not giving your real opinion because of insecurity. Second guessing yourself because it is always what you do. I could go on.

My passivity has completely undermined all attempts of being strong, with value, confident and prioritizing my own needs. I desire to be self confident but it’s a bluff as long as passivity is at my root.

So, what will I do about this?

I am going to work very deliberately to make sure that my words match my intent. I want my words to be direct and to the point. No more back door, accommodating others, asking permission to do what I believe to be valuable for myself.

But I also recognize that this is a reflection upon myself and not those who are in my life. I don’t live with oppressive people. I made the decision to be passive a very long time ago. I started denying myself and my needs a very long time ago. The people around me can’t read my mind, heck I’ve just recently started to figure out my own mind for myself.

If I stand up for myself I will be respected. And more importantly than being respected by those around me, I will respect myself. I like this. I’m getting stronger. I love myself, I’m full of hope and I’m excited.

Here’s to a life less passive.