February 6, 2015
Nothing Happened
I made some poor choices yesterday. And I knew I was going to make them when my day began. I don’t even want to label it as a rebellion because a rebellion can be a positive thing at times. I made a very deliberate decision to be disobedient, disobedient to what I knew were good and healthy actions for my health. I was disobedient to myself.
I began the morning with my devotional but I didn’t put significant effort into it because I had already made my decision in my mind, and I wasn’t willing to surrender. I hadn’t written anything in a few days and I knew I needed to, but I didn’t want to be a fraud, so I chose not to.
My defiance was not a momentary slip in a time of weakness. It was a mind set, a conscious choice. There were several things I could have done to redirect myself before I even went astray. I have tools (this blog, prayer, bible study, friends, etc) to redirect myself, and most days I utilize them, but not yesterday. I chose deliberate disobedience.
Here’s the kicker, there was no pay off. I wasn’t celebrating anything, I wasn’t meeting a friend out to eat, it wasn’t for a decadent dessert or something well prepared. It was for some crappy, freezer burned, pre-made biscuits I found that had been forgotten in my freezer months ago. I had a few with butter and brown sugar, and later in the day I had a couple with butter and melted cheese. I didn’t savor them or even enjoy them. I was feeding a craving. I was abusing my body.
Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to physically feel poorly for the choice. I got shaky and felt bloated and miserable. I ate some nuts and drank a lot of water to offset what I had done. And I got off the path to self destruction.
I got on the scale this morning and my defiance cost me one pound. But I must add some perspective here. What if I had made solid choices yesterday and also included some healthy activity? I could have lost a pound yesterday. So my deliberate act of disobedience actually cost me two pounds. I have to remind myself, it’s not just the weight I gain, it’s the weight I could have potentially lost. I wasted a day that could have been spent improving my health.
So what was my trigger? There was no fight with the spouse, rebellion by a child, an unpaid bill or even just general disappointment. Nothing happened.
Nothing happened. Nothing. Happened.
I had done nothing to have myself motivated and prepared for the day. Nothing happened.
When I started this blog / journey I knew that I was going to need to make very deliberate choices on my road to improved health and a more vital and fully lived life. Yesterday was not fully lived or vital. However, I’m not going to beat myself up for it. It is in the past and will not affect my today. But I can use it as a learning experience that will better prepare me for my tomorrows.
I have decisions to make every day. They are my own decisions and they set my course. I know which behaviors strengthen and prepare me for a good day. For me, that is my devotional, some time in Scripture, prayer and writing this blog / journal. Those are my tools. These behaviors set me up for success. But they must be practiced on a daily basis. It’s how my well is filled and replenished that I may drink from it throughout the day.
Without these choices and daily surrender, nothing will change and nothing will happen.
OnePoundAway 